Porsha Williams and Kandi Burruss threw it down on The Real Housewives of Atlanta last night.
And the topic at hand?
Whether or not Porsha offered to go down on her fellow Bravo reality star.
Go down where? Go down THERE!
At one point during this bay $hit crazy episode, Kandi – who was forced to respond last month to accusations of having had a threesome – addressed the camera, turning her attention to Porsha’s sexuality.
“We all know that Porsha gets down with girls,” Burruss said simply. “I know it. She’s knows it. She knows I know it. We’re in the same boat together!”
Burruss went on to reveal that she’d had her “own experience” with Williams – and that her husband, Todd Tucker, had been there too.
Please expound, Kandi.
“She was in front of me. He was behind me, and she kissed me,” Kandi explained to some of her staff. “There was tongue, and then she told me she wanted to eat my pussyy ’til I came.”
We mean, that’s at least very generous of Porsha to offer, right?
Speaking to the camera once again, Burruss claimed that she and Porsha had shared this “secret” for two years and then accused Porsha of being in the closet.
So this all stage the stage for the Mother of All Confrontation, as Porsha and Kandi sat down to iron out their issues at lunch.
In public. At very high volume, so that everyone seated nearby could hear them scream and yell and fight about their alleged sexual history.
“I’m not out here telling your business, but if you want to go there, Kandi, it is what it is,” Porsha shouted. “Because if I’m single and that’s what I choose to do, but if I’m married and I choose to bring other women in my bed and flip-flop them like pancakes, that’s something totally different.”
Is this the first comparison of girl-on-girl action to the flipping of flapjacks in reality TV history?
We think so. And we love it.
Kandi didn’t deny that such a same-sex incident had happened, but emphasizes that it had only happened once.
Porsha wasn’t buying it. Not at all.
“You don’t have a sex dungeon?” she asked.
No, Kandi replied.
“That’s a f–king lie,” Williams bellowed.
Seriously, was this not the greatest fight in Real Housewives history?
We know there’s a lot of competition for that distinction, but consider all the insults and accusations that were hurled back and forth here:
1. That Kandi has a sex dungeon.
2. That Porsha kissed Kandi at a club and said she wanted to go down on her until she climaxed.
3. That Kandi had a relationship with a woman for seven years.
4. That Kandi slept with R&B groups.
5. That Porsha is a “freak ho.”
6. That Kandi’s house is “The International House of Hos.”
7. That Porsha is an “international ho.”
8. That Porsha was a “pass around” for R&B groups.
9. That odd cheats on Kandi under the alias of Marvin.
Really, you need to just stop what you’re doing and watch The Real Housewives of Atlanta online (via the following video/link) to relive this confrontation for yourself: