Typically, the Kate Middleton rumor mill churns with talk of her and Prince William taking a trip to Pound Town.
In other (less confusing and lewd) words, most chatter surrounding the Duchess of Cambridge has to do with her womb and when she’ll next get pregnant.
But sources now tell Vanity Fair that Middleton is upset at her handsome husband for a different kind of trip; one that involved cold, wet snow, not red hot banging.
Earlier this week, the Royal Family became the subject of a few negative headlines after William had perhaps a bit too much fun with friends at a nightclub in Switzerland.
He was at the establishment as part of a ski vacation with his friends.
Multiple outlets reported on the singing and “dad dancing” that was included in the break Williams took with close pals Guy Pelly, Tom van Straubenzee and James Meade.
(Are those not the most British names you’ve ever read in your entire life?!?)
Likely as a result of a headache and/or extreme fatigue, the Duke of Cambridge was noticeably absent from Monday’s Commonwealth Day service at Westminster Abbey, Britain’s largest interfaith gathering attended by many members of his famous family.
And an insider claims that the most important person in William’s immediate family was “disappointed” with her husband’s behavior.
“It was William’s choice to go away, but make no mistake Kate wears the trousers in their marriage, and she won’t be happy with William’s antics,” a source tells the aforementioned publication, adding:
“She thought his partying days and larking around with the boys was a thing of the past. I imagine she’ll find this humiliating and William will have come in for a pasting.”
(Are those not the most British words you’ve ever read in your entire life?!?)
To be clear, this was solely a guys’ trip.
Cameras did capture a few females hanging out in William’s presence, but there’s no concern that he acted inappropriately with anyone of the opposite sex.
According to The Sun newspaper/tabloid, the Prince and his friends spent last Sunday night dancing to the band Hussy and looked “very worse for wear” after downing “several drinks.”
Footage of this behavior, which went public in Great Britain on Wednesday in numerous tabloids, has left Middleto “less than pleased,” Vanity Fair writes.
Later today, William and Kate are expected to step foot in Paris, as the future king makes his first official visit to the city since Princess Diana passed.
It marks yet another major occasion for the couple and the family they represent.
The two-day trip is expected to strengthen relations between France and a post-Brexit Britain – and all eyes will clearly be on William’s eyes on Friday and Saturday.
Will they be bloodshot? Will he be back on his game?
If not, the public may continue to turn on William and Kate, leaving us wondering about the future of their marriage, as opposed any future addition to their adorable brood.