It was not that long ago at all when we first told you that Lady Gaga and Christian Carino were dating. And now we’re hearing a report that they’re already planning to get engaged, which sounds like they’re moving way too fast, you know?
Somehow their high speed relationship isn’t even the weirdest part of this report?
Because the way that Christian Carino is reportedly prepping to propose to Lady Gaga gives us serious concerns about his judgment … and the future of their relationship.
According to a report, Lady Gaga flew her parents over so that they could all celebrate together for the Fourth of July.
Her boyfriend was included at the gathering.
And also, of course, so that Christian and her parents could get to know one another.
That sounds super cool, right?
But then there’s what reportedly happened while they were talking.
Christian is said to have asked Lady Gaga’s father for his blessing to ask for Lady Gaga’s hand in marriage.
(Like it’s the 1600s)
And apparently Joe Germanotta gave Christian Carino his blessing to marry.
A source explains to Life & Style exactly how this came to be:
“Christian saw this as a perfect chance to ask Joe for his daughter’s hand in marriage.”
Well, that would be a great chance … if they knew each other better.
And also if this were centuries ago and asking someone else’s permission were even remotely socially acceptable.
(Because it has never been morally acceptable)
Or, you know, if Christian or Lady Gaga were Duggars.
(Lady Gaga does, in fact, represent a huge portion of things that the Duggars hate and fear and reject)
“When the timing was right, he quietly asked Joe for his permission.”
Ugh. So weird.
“Christian is old-fashioned that way, and he felt like it was the right thing to do before he went ahead and popped the question.”
Well, if that’s the case, then he felt wrong.
Now, we don’t know that this is true.
(We won’t get all existential on you, but Descartes has already said pretty much all that needs to be said about what we can and can’t know about reality)
Sometimes sources are reporting what seems to be true but isn’t.
Sometimes celebrities leak an idea deliberately float it around and see what the public reaction might be.
But as much as we want a lifetime of happiness of Lady Gaga, and we absolutely do …
… We hope that this isn’t true.
First of all, six months seems like too soon to get engaged.
And asking so soon after Lady Gaga’s friend died also rubs us the wrong way.
But the idea of asking her dad for permission makes us cringe and cringe and cringe.
Maybe it would be okay … we guess … if both parties who want to get married want to take part in that weird patriarchal tradition.
You know, as if a man’s daughter is his property and her fiance needs to ask if he can claim ownership.
But we can’t see that for Lady Gaga at all.
We don’t just mean that it doesn’t fit her brand.
It doesn’t seem to fit her values or her personality.
So if Christian Carino really did that … it sounds like a blunder.
Unless she’s really willing to bend over backwards to make her dad happy, anyway.