With questions about Luann’s relationship with Tom D’Agostino being one of the storylines on The Real Housewives of New York City, it’s no surprise that people have questioned the integrity of their marriage.
Also, we keep hearing story after story about Tom cheating on Luann. …
But after the two recently quarreled in public while dining at a restaurant, they knew that they had to speak out and tell fans what’s really going on.
Luann de Lesseps is no longer a countess after her divorce from Count Alexandre de Lesseps.
But she will always be Countless Luann in our hearts, you know?
She and Tom D’Agostino Jr got married last December.
Honestly, it’s usually not a great sign of people are arguing a lot or even just rumored to be arguing a lot less than a year into their marriage.
There have even been reports that the two have been splitting up and then reconciling over and over.
That would be worrisome anyway — this is a marriage, not a high school relationship.
But they’re supposed to be in their honeymoon phase, right?
That sounds super unhealthy.
But Tom D’Agostino says that he and Luann de Lesseps haven’t split up, as he tells Us Weekly.
“There is a lot of love here.”
That’s very clear, though sometimes love alone just isn’t enough.
“We want it to succeed.”
His statement’s pretty succinct, but we guess that he felt that it was enough without trying to speak over Luann.
(Maybe we’re giving him too much credit, but that shows promise for their relationship)
You’d think that if love were such a priority, he’d manage to resist his impulses to cheat, but … that’s their business, we guess.
Most people who are romantically inclined agree that love is worth fighting for.
That’s apparently not just the sort of thing that happens in fairytales and action movies.
But in real life, fighting for love usually means working out your differences with the person you love.
That’s a lot more complicated than, like, slaying a dragon or whatever.
As for their argument at the restaurant, Us says that it’s not even that big of a deal — the two don’t fight like that a lot, but it did happen to happen in public.
You know, some couples argue more than others.
Some people get into angry feuds with their friends for a few days and then they reunite and it’s all good.
Other people never, ever get into fights or arguments with friends because the first incident of that would end the friendship.
Relationships, and marriages, can be just as varied along that spectrum.
Of course, abuse in any relationship would be unacceptable.
And even arguments that don’t involve abuse could imply a deeply toxic, unhealthy relationship.
It’s possible that Luann and Tom are just working through some things early on and that they’ll find their rhythm and have a perfect relationship from here on out.
It’s also possible that Luann and Tom, if they’re really struggling so much with each other, just shouldn’t be together.
(Again, if Tom is constantly cheating, that’s more than just a red flag)
Fighting can turn into resentment, and resentment can build and fester.
And often, you can end up with hateful exes.
Just look at Jason Hoppy’s latest stalking charges and you’ll see how toxic exes can be.
Only time will tell whether Luann and Tom’s problems are “my roommate’s a morning person and I’m not” problems or “my roommate smokes in the house and also keeps selling my belongings so they can buy meth” problems.
One of those can be addressed as you learn to live with each other.
The other means that you need to separate immediately.
But you know, we really do wish Luann the best.
The best with Tom (one way or the other), the best with making peace between Bethenny and Ramona (good luck), and the best in life.
And, hey, if Luann and Tom work out whatever underlying issues they’re having this early on, maybe they can look forward to spending the rest of their lives without feeling quarrelsome.
You never know.