Well, it looks like we have some bad news for the star of the USA network’s third best-loved series behind Mr. Robot and, um … is Burn Notice still a thing?
Clearly, we didn’t really think that joke through, but the show we’re talking about is Suits, and the star we’re referring to is reigning Ms. Much Too Hot For Basic Cable, Meghan Markle.
As a human who exists on planet Earth, or perhaps a super-smart ape with an abiding interest in celebrity gossip (we don’t judge), you’ve no doubt heard by now that Meghan is dating Prince Harry.
In fact, you’ve probably caught wind of one of the many rumors that Meghan and Harry are engaged!
Obviously, there’s been no official word on that front, but the consensus amongst insiders is that a royal announcement should be happening any day now.
However, according to one clairvoyant, Meg shouldn’t waste any time picking out a wedding dress:
“My spirit guide is showing me that Prince Harry will propose to his girlfriend Meghan Markle November/December time, I am told that the engagement is already planned and she’ll say yes but they’ll break up before any wedding can take place,” psychid Lyndsay Edwards reported on her website today.
“My spirit guide tells me that Meghan is not the right partner for Prince Harry and that there is someone better suited who will come into his life not long after he splits up from Meghan Markle.”
Daaaay-um! Sorry, Meg.
Hope you didn’t go pledging those Suits residuals to Unicef or anything nutty like that.
First rule of dating a prince:
Don’t start acting spoiled until he makes you a royal.
You young folks might want to write that one down.
Anyway, in keeping with the proud tradition of psychics throwing shade at Meghan by suggesting that Princess Di would totally hate her, Edwards hints that Harry’s next girlfriend will be chosen for him by a solicitous ghost:
“I get the strongest sense that this next relationship for Prince Harry is somewhat planned on spirit’s part and I would question if she’s been chosen for Harry by a loved one in the spirit world who is going to ensure that Prince Harry and this girl cross paths,” she writes.
“I am shown when the two of them meet and it appears that Prince Harry isn’t looking for anyone in that way but is taken by surprise and caught off guard by his immediate attraction to this girl who I am told is really sweet and polite.”
Having apparently mistaken her own psychic prediction for a roast battle, Lindsay adds:
“She looks quite petite and very natural in her appearance – totally different from Meghan and more similar in appearance to girls he’s dated previously.”
Clearly, Lindsay’s predictions are ridiculous, but to be fair, she’s using her reputation as a psychic in the most effective way possible–by telling other people that they’re fat and they’re soon to be dumped by their significant others.
After all, anyone claiming to have psychic abilities is 100 percent full of it, but anyone bashing their social betters in truly petty fashion is just giving you their version of the truth.
Damn, we’re just full of lessons for the kids today.