If you have a sensitive stomach or are easily traumatized, then fair warning: you might want to look away.
But if you think you’re pretty tough and hard to shock, or alternately, if you just hate yourself, well, then carry on.
E! just shared this new teaser for Rob & Chyna, and it’s this cute little video where Rob Kardashian and Blac Chyna tell the camera who their childhood crushes were.
Rob says that baby Blac Chyna had quite the liking for Ricky Martin, which is understandable, and Chyna even adorably did a little rendition of “Livin’ La Vida Loca” in memory of her old love.
(Sidenote: the way Chyna sings “her lips were devil red” will remain in your heart forever.)
But then Chyna is asked who Rob’s childhood crush was, and that’s when things take a sketchy turn.
At first, she says that Rob liked J Lo, which, yeah, so did/does everyone. But Rob strangely seems kind of nervous about the statement as he confirms that “that’s pretty accurate.”
But then Chyna clarifies that Rob had two childhood crushes: “J Lo and Kim Kardashian.”
That’s just a joke, right? Just a gross little “ha ha” moment?
No such luck.
Rob gives an uncomfortable little laugh after Chyna’s statement and says “that is also pretty accurate, um …” And sorry, but there are not enough “um”s in the world to make this OK.
E! called this a “hilarious clip,” but really it’s just going to give us all nightmares for the rest of our lives. On our deathbeds, we’ll all be like “tell my cats I love them … oh, and that Rob Kardashian thing was sick AF.”
Hey, maybe this is why Rob and Chyna have been having so many problems lately. Maybe they did this video and Chyna laughed it off, but then it started eating at her until she decided that she couldn’t talk to him for a while — maybe that’s why they reportedly hadn’t been texting or calling each other.
Maybe this is why Rob thinks Chyna’s going to leave him for some rapper. He could have seen himself in this video and thought “damn, I’m weird as hell, this girl’s probably going to have to find some other dude.” And really, that would be fair.
In all seriousness though, Rob has had his issues, and perhaps that’s why this is so very, very disturbing.
Specifically, he’s had his issues with Kim.
He famously failed to attend her big wedding to Kanye West, and then last year he made a post on Instagram where he referred to Kim as “the bitch from Gone Girl,” meaning that she was like the (spoiler alert!) absolutely, positively, terrifyingly insane female character from the popular book and film.
Does he have some kind of weird fixation on Kim? Well, obviously.
Blac Chyna, girl, if you want to run, no one would blame you.