Picture this: Khloe Kardashian, except that she’s the mother of five or six children.
Okay, now take some deep, relaxing breaths and calm down. No, we’re not ready for that future either.
But it sounds like Tristan Thompson sure is.
One of the subplots on this season of Keeping Up With The Kardashians was questions about Khloe’s fertility.
Not just questions about whether or not she’s interested in having kids, but questions about whether or not she can.
She’s only been dating basketball player Tristan Thompson since last September, so it seems a little premature for this kind of talk, right?
But at the same time, some people want kids from relationships and some people don’t, and it’s good to know early on whether kids are even an option and who might be interested.
Tristan seems to be more than just interested, but also … his idea of family planning is a little nuts.
“Tristan and I definitely talk about starting a family,” Khloe told her sister Kim on the Keeping Up With The Kardashians season finale.
“He wants to have five or six kids with me and that’s lovely. We could start at one and we could grow from there.”
Tristan already has a kid, but apparently he won’t be satisfied until he can populate a small island?
Five is a huge number of children to have, even for a committed, long-term couple.
Which they are not.
But Khloe sounds like this could become reality sooner than any of us realize.
“But now knowing I’m not on birth control is just like — it’s scary. It’s like a really big step.”
Yeah, one child is a huge step. Children are adorable but a lot of work and the hugest responsibility.
Six children is a step off a cliff into an infinite, chaotic abyss.
We know that Kris Jenner had six kids, but it was over the course of a couple of decades.
Also, like, you gotta love Kris, but she has zero chill about anything.
But Kris Jenner is intensely maternal. She’s not just protective — she’s helpful and supportive.
Even when she doesn’t necessarily agree. Remember when she probably straight-up bought a house for Rob after Blac Chyna got pregnant?
It’s because she had the means to and because she was supportive.
Khloe has a … different temperament.
Honestly, and maybe it’s just because she’s on camera, but Khloe can sometimes come across as a little emotionally unbalanced.
And you know how meddling and controlling Khloe can be towards her grown-up adult siblings?
Imagine that but she’s a mother.
So … it sounds like she has some things to work past, first.
Khloe’s siblings haven’t really had the best luck in terms of romance.
Sure, Kim’s happy now, but let’s not forget that Kanye isn’t her first husband.
Kourtney and Scott were happily together for years, but we’ve all seen how that turned out.
Rob and Blac Chyna’s highly publicized relationship fizzled and died before the world’s eyes.
Kendall and Kylie are younger so they haven’t had any disasters on quite that scale — because they haven’t gotten married or had kids.
Unless you count every moment of Kylie dating Tyga as a disaster, anyway.
Looking at all of that, is Khloe really ready to even discuss having kids with a guy she hasn’t even been dating for a year?
Ultimately, if Khloe had gotten pregnant right after that episode was filmed, we’d probably know it by now.
Or soon, anyway.
So maybe it was just talk to raise drama or to float the idea by her family and fans.
And even if she and Tristan do have plans to give the Duggars a run for their money, it’ll probably just happen with one baby at a time.
Considering how agonizing pregnancy can be for some people, especially for Kim, maybe one will be enough for Khloe.
But … maybe not. We may all need to brace ourselves for that on the horizon.